Video Games Going Ugly: An Adult Perspective

Let me ask you a question,

When is Mario going to apologize to Bowser for constantly aggressing him... her... it?

Remember when video games were fun? Like, not full of shit? You’d grab a controller, dive headfirst into some ridiculous adventure, blow up bad guys, and yell at your friends for screen-peeking during GoldenEye. Good times, man. But now? Now, gaming feels like attending a corporate diversity seminar disguised as entertainment.

Let’s talk about how video games have gone completely off the rails. These days, every time I boot up a new game, I feel like I’m being lectured by a freshman gender studies major who just discovered Twitter activism. Oh, you wanted to explore a post-apocalyptic wasteland and fight some zombies? Too bad, because you’re getting a ham-fisted morality lesson on microaggressions instead.

You are also racist if you have blue eyes.

And don’t get me wrong—I’m all for representation. I don’t care if my character is a space alien with six genders and 2 pairs of tits as long as the game is fun. But here’s the kicker: these “woke” games are rarely, if ever, fun. You can make your characters as ugly as you want, I do not care. Girls don't have to be sexual objects or a straight up man. See how gentlemanly I am? The problem is that these geniuses are going so far out of their way to make something not look like a girl then saying it is one... at that point you might as well just make a dude and say you like men.

I don't know who is more confused... the character or its creator. But I didn’t sign up for Virtue Signaling Simulator 2024 and I sure as fuck didn't just pay $59.99 for it. I signed up to shoot lasers at space pirates while rocking a sweet thong.

Take The Last of Us Part II, for example. Gorgeous graphics, killer game play, and... a plot that feels like it was written by someone whose only exposure to storytelling is watching TikToks about “toxic masculinity.” The whole thing is a slog through misery and stupid. I’m not saying games can’t have a message. I’m saying I don’t need my post-apocalyptic murder spree interrupted by someone wagging their finger and telling me that I, too, am part of the problem. And at least be kind of realistic, like would someone in medieval times be using 2024 slang? No they obviously would not. They would talk like people do in medieval times, but maybe that is too hard to comprehend.

And don’t even get me started on character customization. It used to be simple: Pick your class, pick your gear, get to work. Now? You’ve got to select your pronouns, your “cultural background,” and whether your in-game character is gluten-free. Fuck that.

The worst part is the outpour of tears if you dare call any of this out. “Oh, you don’t like that the new Assassin’s Creed person is nonbinary? Guess you’re a bigot!” No, you damn Karen, I just think the writing is shit, the game play sucks, and maybe—just maybe—the game would be better if the developers spent less time on Twitter and more time making something that doesn’t feel like SHIT.

Just an observation.

The real irony is they are creating the hate which they are fighting. When you annoy your fucking way into people's lives, you aren't breaking their will... you are creating the resentment which turns into hatred. Why are you even trying so hard to make people submit? Are you a Nazi?As you can already see, more and more people are rising up against the Rainbow Reich.

You don't want it. So these stunning and brave nerds are going to take your Call of Duties, Dragon Ages, Mortal Kombats, and probably Mario next... then spritz some woke on them until you are playing a non-binary, gender-swapped Raiden. Because diversity, that's why. They can't create a God of Pronouns to represent who they are, because no one wants to identify as a well-fed, gender-confused mishmash of female-male things and purple hair. So stealing what is already cool, then changing history is the name of the game.