Bro, I Just Sat Down—People Who Rush You At the Gym

Alright, bros, we need to have a little chat about one of the most annoying things in the gym: the people who can’t wait five seconds before swooping in to ask, “How many sets do you have left?”

Bro, I just fucking sat down.

I haven’t even adjusted the fucking seat, let alone mentally prepared for the pain I’m about to fucking endure. Can you give me, like, fucking 0.5 seconds of peace before interrogating me like I’m on trial?

Here’s the thing: I get it. The gym can get crowded. But that doesn’t mean you need to start stalking every machine like a lion hunting its prey. Let Cat Brah tell you why THIS is the most obnoxious behavior in the gym and why you need to stay in your lane.

The Art of Sitting Down

Sitting down on a machine is a sacred ritual, bro. It’s not just about plopping your ass down—it’s about getting in the zone. Adjusting the seat height, selecting the right weight, and mentally preparing for the pain you’re about to inflict on yourself.

It’s a whole process.

But then, out of nowhere, here comes you with your “How many sets do you have left?” energy, ruining my vibe before I’ve even started.

Like, bro, can I at least pretend to look like I know what I’m doing first? And second of all, you don't look like you need this machine... You look like you need all the machines, twice. Do you even lift? Get your ass out there, before you start acting like you need to hit chest so bad you're begging for it.

The “Hover-ers” Are Worse

You know what’s worse than the people who ask right away? Not much worse than that, But coming in at least 3rd or 4th place is the ones who just hover.

You’re not fooling anyone by fake-stretching next to the machine, bro. We all know you’re waiting for me to finish. Do I need to spray paint “BACK OFF” on my water bottle, or are you good? And don’t even think about giving me the stink eye when I take my time.

If you wanted to use this machine so badly, maybe you should’ve gotten here earlier instead of spending 20 minutes snapping selfies by the dumbbells.

Oh, and good luck if you plan on doing this to any mildly attractive thot. You WILL be in her Snap or TikTok. She will say you literally whipped out your Slim Jim Mini, twirled it around while making helicopter noises, then gently draped it over her forehead. As she cries diligently into the well lit camera with perfect focus.

To which, her balding simp army will be summoned like fucking zombies. They will find out who you are and every social media account you have... then Photoshop you into some horrible memes. And... and... then they will cancel you!

You have been warned.

Patience, My Dude

Look, I’m not saying you can’t ask eventually. But there’s a time and a place.

Listen... if I’ve been sitting on the machine for ten minutes, scrolling through Instagram like an idiot, then you have my permission to ask. But if I’ve barely even touched the handles, you’re just being fucking IMPATIENT.

The gym is a shared space you ducking duck wad. Fucking auto correct just corrected me. But I do not care. You are not entitled to the machine just because you’re in a hurry. Learn some patience, bro. It’s a virtue—or so I’ve heard.

Go find another fucking machine or use your imagination.

The Golden Rule of Gym Etiquette

Treat others how you want to be treated. Would you want someone hovering over you like a vulture while you’re trying to get your gains? No, you wouldn’t. So don’t do it to me.

If the machine is occupied, move on. Hit up another exercise. There are at least 12 other ways to hit the same muscle group, but no, you’re fixated on this one like it’s the Holy Grail.

Chill out.

Final Thoughts

So here’s the takeaway, the gym is supposed to be a place of gains, not unnecessary stress. Next time you see someone sitting down on a machine, give them a minute. Let them settle in, get their sets in, and then ask. Better yet, wait until they’re wiping it down—that’s the universal sign for “It’s all yours.”

Until then, stop hovering, stop rushing, and maybe work on your patience while I work on my gains.

Chances are low you're yoked or on roids, so chances are very high I'm gonna fucking laugh when I see you rushing me... so you can get in a set which you "need" so bad.